I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
