I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
