He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
