my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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