Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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