# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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