No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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