right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize