I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
