Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
