and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
