winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
