you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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