you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
