You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
pray to the hookup gods
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