Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
