I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
