Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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