there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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