I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
