I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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