If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
