Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
