About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
