Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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