i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
