i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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