Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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