All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
