this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
