There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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