Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
