Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
