Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
