The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Found the puke drawer
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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