Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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