does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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