I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So much rum. So many feels.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
