Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
