eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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