We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
