next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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