I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
