I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.