what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.