Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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