the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
