I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
