Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will be naked everywhere
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Bring me that man meat
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
