Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
