I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize