i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My balls are so social today.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
