Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
