idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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