whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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