her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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