i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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