the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
