I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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