Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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