Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
