Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize